When Therapists Tell You to Cut Off Your Family

Faith Facts

• A growing number of therapists are encouraging clients to completely sever ties with family members, raising concerns about whether this approach aligns with biblical principles of forgiveness and reconciliation.
• Tim and Zach Clinton argue that labeling family members as ‘toxic’ has become a cultural trend masquerading as legitimate clinical care, potentially doing more harm than good.
• Christian counselors warn that abandoning family relationships without pursuing biblical restoration contradicts Scripture’s emphasis on family bonds and the transformative power of forgiveness.

The secular therapy world is increasingly promoting a troubling solution to family conflict: just walk away. Under the banner of mental health and self-care, countless Americans are being told that cutting off parents, siblings, and other relatives is not only acceptable — it’s therapeutic.

But is it really healing, or have we simply repackaged cultural alienation as clinical wisdom?

Tim and Zach Clinton are sounding the alarm on this dangerous trend. They argue that the therapeutic community has embraced a shortcut that violates fundamental biblical principles about family, forgiveness, and restoration.

The problem begins with the label itself. Calling someone “toxic” isn’t a clinical diagnosis — it’s a cultural buzzword that has infiltrated therapy sessions across America. It’s vague, subjective, and often applied to family members who simply hold different values or make us uncomfortable.

For Christian families, this trend is particularly insidious. Scripture places enormous value on family relationships and calls believers to pursue reconciliation, bear with one another, and extend forgiveness — even when it’s difficult. The Bible never promises that family relationships will be easy, but it does provide a framework for navigating conflict that doesn’t involve permanent estrangement.

The Clintons emphasize that while there are legitimate cases where boundaries are necessary — particularly in situations involving abuse or serious harm — the current therapeutic climate has normalized family abandonment as a first response rather than a last resort. Instead of equipping people with tools for healthy communication, conflict resolution, and biblical reconciliation, too many therapists are handing out permission slips to cut and run.

This approach doesn’t just damage families; it damages the individuals who follow this advice. Research consistently shows that strong family connections contribute to mental health, longevity, and overall well-being. Severing these ties may provide temporary relief from conflict, but it often leads to long-term regret, unresolved pain, and a loss of identity rooted in family heritage.

Moreover, the “cut them off” mentality reflects a broader cultural shift away from commitment, sacrifice, and the hard work of loving imperfect people. It’s the relational equivalent of cancel culture — if someone offends you or makes your life difficult, you simply erase them. This stands in stark contrast to the Christian call to love our enemies, pray for those who persecute us, and extend the same grace we’ve received from God.

The Clintons advocate for a different path: one that acknowledges the reality of difficult family dynamics while refusing to abandon the biblical mandate for reconciliation. This means setting healthy boundaries where necessary, seeking godly counsel, and doing the hard work of forgiveness — not because family members deserve it, but because Christ commands it and because it frees us from the prison of bitterness.

It also means discerning the difference between toxic behavior and simple disagreement. In today’s polarized climate, families are often divided over politics, theology, lifestyle choices, and values. But having a family member who votes differently, attends a different church, or makes choices you wouldn’t make doesn’t constitute toxicity — it’s just reality in a fallen world.

True healing doesn’t come from isolation; it comes from transformation. And transformation requires engagement, not escape. It requires us to confront our own sin, extend forgiveness, and trust God to work in relationships that seem beyond repair.

Christian families facing conflict need therapists who understand this biblical framework — counselors who will help them navigate difficult relationships without immediately advising estrangement. They need wisdom rooted in Scripture, not secular trends that prioritize comfort over character development.

The family is God’s design, and while it’s been deeply affected by sin, it remains a foundational institution for human flourishing. When we too quickly discard family relationships in the name of mental health, we’re not just rejecting difficult people — we’re rejecting God’s plan for refining us through those relationships.

The answer to family conflict isn’t always separation. Sometimes, it’s repentance, forgiveness, and the patient work of rebuilding trust. That’s not an easy message to hear in a culture that prizes self-protection above all else, but it’s the message the Church must continue to proclaim.

Let us know what you think, please share your thoughts in the comments below.